Thursday, June 29, 2006

from the mailbag... more wedding hall anomalies

J writes:
And from the chasidishe point of view,

Must I eat only Potato “Ki-Gel” and Cabbage and Noodles every night?

Ever had an overenthusiastic crowd of people dancing in a formation of moving walls, backwards no less, slam into the poor unfortunate musicians that are sitting in front of the bandstand?

Did you know that for ten bucks the Rent-A-Guard that chain smokes outside of Ateres Chaya all night will sell you the rights to the parking spot right in front of the hall?

Do you really think that a bunch of guys singing in a scale that has yet to be identified  really care that the Chosson and Kalla actually requested special music for the Chupa?, or that their parents dished out a lot of money for Misha & Co. to play it for them?

Of course I had equipment disappear from the band stand,, I actually had a “GUITAR” disappear, turns out, one of the waiters was doing me a favor, he  “put it away” for safekeeping.

I love the song Ya-Ma-Mai, and I don’t care which version or chord progression, or rhythm you use,,, but hey,  enough is enough,,, let’s try something new? (Bag-Bag?)

I can not make a band that is playing acoustically at the K.P.  any lower then they already are, unless there is a mute for a flute that I havn’t seen yet.

Is it me? Or do singers at Weddings, shiny shoes, or boots for that matter, suffer from “Selective Hearing Disorder”? they can never seem to hear themselves no matter how loud the monitor is.
E writes:
Speaking of hall anamolies from a non musician's perspective... How about all those main hall entrance doors at Ateres Avrohom that are really the back wall of the bandstand?

How about that chosson/kalla "entrance" at the Rose Castle that is never timed right between the band and that silly elevator door?

Speaking of foreign bathroom attendants singing Jewish songs, have you met the napkin dude in the mens room at Marina that sings Od Yishama though he is sick of the song?

You can spend 5 hours at Terrace on the Park and never know that some of your closest friends were there due to the fact that the hall is long and narrow and you were on opposite sides.

The long hike to the chuppah when taking place outdoors at Crest Hollow.

The noisy traffic/subway chuppah outdoor on the roof next to the train tracks on New Utrecht at Ateres whatevertheheck its called (actually i think im thinking of the wig store place).

The very poorly constructed makeshift dancefloor in hotels, paticularly the Brooklyn Marriot.

The halls that have very strictly law abiding "no smoking" signs and ushers who enforce said rule, yet there are still tall ashtrays at every entrance and cigarette vending machines in the lobby.
He also writes:
speaking of the Surf Club - those chuppahs are stinkiest - smells like the surf!

Other stinky smelling chuppahs include the outdoor ones at Marina (not to mention helicopters flying by drowning out the music).