Some peeps to close out the season...
The "Demo Freak"
The "Demo Freak" is a uniquely annoying peep. This is the peep who has some obscure requests for their event like, for instance, one Ladino tune during dinner. We play Ladino songs occasionally. We haven't yet worked up a demo, though.
That's not good enough for this client, who, although looking for a simcha band to play simcha music for the rest of her five hour affair, will base her decision of which band to hire on the basis of which band has a Ladino demo. In the end, she'll opt for a band from outside her community, ironically, one that also doesn't have a Ladino demo, because they "must" do it better than a musician from her community who's actually transcribed and learned a bunch of these tunes because he's interested in them. The band she does hire will wind up trying to sight-read a third generation copy of a chart the bandleader's friend has faxed over an hour before the gig.
The saving grace about not having booked the gig is the fact that it means we don't have to deal with this peep at the affair. A joy, no doubt.
The "Cud Chewers"
These peeps, a middle-aged LI mom and her three married daughters pop in the gum for speeches at their cousin's Bar mitzvah. Dressed to the nines, and chewing with their mouths open, it's easy to see where the kids picked up this lovely habit. Cause gum during dinner is just so classy.
The "Tightrope Walker"
This peep introduces the guest of honor at an organizational function by "dissing" the guest of honor's choice of occupation. Then, just as it seems that he's about to stumble and insult the guest of honor, s/he "saves" the moment by contrasting said guest to the typical. For example, if the guest of honor is a lawyer, the "Tightrope Walker" might start out talking about how lawyers are sleazy shysters and ambulance chasers and then "save" their comment by saying "our guest of honor is upright and honest." Smooth, no? Well, they think so. Only problem is, if the guest of honor is a lawyer, its likely that a number of the guests are his professional colleagues. All potential long-term donors. Also all offended. Of course, this NEVER happens in real life.
We've NEVER heard a "Tightrope Walker" introduce a rabbi by saying: "Rabbis are like horses." Nope, never. Especially not the other night. Especially not in front of members of his shul board.
The "Yiddish Speaking Pole"
This peep works at the non-standard venue we played at the other night. A Judeophile, when he sees a Jewish musician unloading, he comes out and loads our gear into the venue for us, all the while peppering his conversation with Yiddish. He learned Yiddish from a non-Jewish Russian coworker. He also keeps a sharp eye out for us when the gig is over, helping us to load out. A sheynem dank!