Monday, August 06, 2007

PSA: Hold That Thought

One of the things I come across frequently is people who can't "hold that thought." They start off saying something appropriate, but then continue on turning their seemingly nice comment into one of the sort that's makes everyone within earshot cringe.

In the interest of helping people avoid these faux pas, here is a list of actual comments we've heard at events. We've italicized the inappropriate parts, so that the reader can discern what is, and what is not, appropriate.

Scene 1 (At the seudah following a bris. The baby's father has just completed hamotzi.)
Amen! Snip the tip!

Scene 2 (At the end of a wedding.)
Mazal Tov! May you have many, many children! Get started tonight!

Scene 3 (Brother of the Groom speaking at a wedding.)
Bro, you've married a wonderful woman. she's beautiful, sweet and kind. And, you better watch out, because I'm going to be over at your place all the time while you're on call at the hospital, and ...

Scene 4 (Guys talking at a wedding.)
She's quite attractive... for a fat girl.

See how this works people? You're supposed to stop BEFORE you turn your appropriate comment into something cringe-worthy. Got that?