Blog in Dm's intrepid investigative team is glad to be able to share these hitherto undisclosed proposals with you.
Agudath Israel Internal Memo -- FOR INTERNAL RELEASE ONLY
Dear fellow Moetzes member,
Enclosed, please find a draft of the proposed takanos on blogging as per our meeting at the Agudah convention.
Draft Takanos on Blogging
A group blog may consist of a maximum of 5 bloggers. One of the bloggers may act as a comment moderator or else the blog may have 4 bloggers and one additional regular commentor.
A one-man blog is recommended.
The "blogoversary" celebration is to be discontinued. The 1,000,000 hit celebratory post should not be turned into a "blogoversary" .
Only 400 readers may sit at their computers to view a blog at the same time. After 10 PM, bochurim may be invited to read blogs, but they may not have seats while reading.
For those who like to snack while reading blogs, snacks should be limited to basic cakes, fruit platters, a modest buffet, and the standard meat or chicken hot dishes. Sushi blogging is prohibited!
Bloggers who imbibe while blogging may only drink Gordon's vodka or Old Willamsburg, Old Overholt, or Old Crow.
Bloggers may only use free or low-cost blogging solutions like Blogger.
It is forbidden to host your blog on a server that is less than five years old. (You've heard of yeshivishe cars? Well, we're mandating yeshivishe servers.)
The total cost of a Blogads purchase should not exceed $1800.
We the rabbinical signatories -- barring familial obligations -- and unusual and extraordinary circumstances --will not guest-blog or comment on a blog that disregards these guidelines.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts, heoros, and chiddushim.
With Torah blessings,
Rabbi Y. Perlow, Novominsker Rebbe, Yoshev Rosh -- Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah of Agudath Israel of America