1) The Shy Dance Motivator
The Shy Dance Motivator works for one of the big agencies and we've run into him at several recent Bar Mitzvahs. Unlike the other typical motivators, he doesn't really interact much with the guests, getting them into the music, and involving them in the dancing. Rather, he cruises the dance floor, dancing Yo-Ya and the like by by himself without any interaction with the guests. Eventually, one of the guests, usually great-aunt Sadie, realizes he's a hired gun, and proceeds to monopolize him for the rest of the set. Other motivators would extricate themselves politely after a few minutes and move on, but not shy guy. Sure, he'll join in when his fellow motivators organize a line dance, but shy guy will never be the one to start it.
2) The Joan Rivers Impersonator
Because every Oscar-themed Bar Mitzvah needs a drag Joan Rivers impersonator. We've only seen this once, but a conversation with the photographer informs that he gets around. Oy!
3) The Rent-A-Yenta
Seen this a few times. This one never comes off well. Save your $$$! Tip the band instead.
4) The Optimist
The optimist comes in various forms depending on the type of affair you're at. At a yeshivish simcha, he's the guy who walks into the small wedding hall where a band has hired a sound company running a massively overpowered (for the room) system, including speakers on hoists, subwoofers, a fully mic'ed drum set, and a Marshall stack for the guitarist, and thinks that he'll be able to have any conversation that evening anywhere in the building.
At a chassidish affair, he's the guy who came on time for the chupa and has scheduled a business appointment for half an hour after the time the chupa was called for.
At a secular Bar Mitzvah, he's the guy who comes over as the band is cranking up the disco set and segueing into Boogie Oogie Oogie to ask if they can play Unforgettable next. Not gonna happen.
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6) The Shill
The Shill is the guy who recommended the band to the baalei simcha for this event. He takes pride in his recommendation, and spends the evening wandering the venue, pointing out the band to people, soliciting comments from various guests, and taking the credit when they compliment the band. Not to be confused with a booking agent, the Shill works for free, and genuinely enjoys sharing "his" discovery with others.
7) The "Wait Til the Last Minute" Client.
He/she is the person who comes over at Sunday's gig to ask if you might be available for an affair on Tuesday night... his/her wedding. It's as if the live music jogged his/her mind and helped them realize that they might want to get some o' that live music for their own affair.
Ron Benevisti adds another:
I'd like to add:In club-date science class, we learned that for every prodigy, there is an equal and opposite "un-prodigy".
...who is, was with the Miami Boys Choir, Yeshivah Boys Choir, etc., who is a friend or relative of the family. In all fairness
these guys can be pretty good, as opposed to the typical "Srully Reverb" type.
In particular I want to mention Menachem Klein, who is proving himself as a great songwriter and keyboard artist (recently featured on "Aneinu Hashem") and Shimmy Erenthal of Lakewood who is just thirteen - a real showman and MC.
These guys are a pleasure.