Thursday, June 30, 2011

Say What?

"Bugs Meany"
A Chanel-wearing older woman approaches the piano player at a nice soiree at a 2 Million dollar apartment in NYC to talk about how wedding bands ALWAYS play too loud. Totally not a concern with a piano/violin duo, one would think. After finishing her rant, she heads over to the buffet for some veggies. Returning with a plate of carrot sticks, she confides: "when the music is too loud, I just put these in my ears. Tissues don't help, but these are spongy and block the sound." It was tempting to play loud just to cause her to do that.

"The Goth Rebbetzin"
This older peep shows up dressed like a rebbetzin in prim black suit/white blouse combo, sporting a snood. Oh, and black lipstick. Mamesh tznius!

"Suicide Girlfriend"
If you invite your eccentric non-Jewish childhood friend --yes, the one with a handlebar moustache, who looks like a circus ringmaster -- to be your best man, keep in mind that he might bring his Suicide Girl model girlfriend as his date. She will wear a strapless/backless/sleeveless ball gown, which will show off her full body tattoos (featuring flaming skulls & naked women) covering her entire right shoulder/arm/back. And, she will be in all of the photos. Just an FYI.