"The Modzits Fan"
Don't ever make the mistake of playing a Modzitzer melody when this peep is at the gig. We made that mistake recently, playing three such tunes. Sure enough, he was drawn to the bandstand, like a moth to a flame, wanting to talk Modzitzer nigunnim. Since we couldn't talk right then, he waited until the end of the affair, hung around while we packed up, and then held us up after we'd loaded our car, sharing his B.Z. Shenker impersonations (spot on), thoughts on various Modzitzer melodies, digressions into the attributes of various well-known cantors (alive and dead), and more. Oy!
"The Greedy Cheapskate"
A while back we met the "Renegotiator" (here and here.) This peep puts 'em to shame. Or should that be, this peep has no shame. The "Greedy Cheapskate" hires us for a morning Bat Mitzvah. Tells us it'll be for two to two and a half hours.
The Friday before the Sunday gig, he calls and says it probably won't go over, but if it does need to go fifteen minutes over, would that be OK. Figuring we might as well be nice, since we've charged him for the slot, and have three hours between gigs anyway, we tell him we'll do it at no additional charge. A nice gesture, we thought. This character, though, saw it as an opening to renegotiate. After all, if we're willing to play two hours and forty five minutes for that fee, why should he pay the same amount for only two and a half hours. No class! Naturally, this peep tries to short us forty dollars at the end of the gig too.
"Mr. I'll Never Hire You For My Wedding"
This fine fellow (it's always a guy) is a friend of someone at the wedding who can sing. Allegedly. He comes over all night long, demanding that we let his friend sing one more song. Note: He's not just asking to give his friend the mic during a dance set. He wants his friend to be given a showcase, singing a featured song, while all assembled watch and take in his awesomely incredible vocal talents. The friend wouldn't mind said showcase, but would never push for it this aggressively and rudely. Naturally, we refuse. After all, he's sung one song at the family's request. And, much as this peep wants this to happen, there is a wedding going on, we've got dance sets to play, etc, so we decline. Multiple times. Before, after, and during the dance sets. The kicker. At the end of the gig, "Mr. I'll Never Hire You For My Wedding" comes over and says: "I'll never hire you for my wedding." Given his personality, that's not exactly an unwanted outcome. Who says sechar mitzva behai alma leka?