"In Your Face Video Guy"
This peep stalks the room with his personal video camera. Sizing up his prey, he stalks them, waiting until the precise moment they are least prepared. Then, just as his prey begins chewing their food, he strikes. "Say something for the video" he urges, as his cornered prey frantically tries to swallow. This peep has also been spotted lying in wait outside the mens room door. Beware!
"Principal Shlemiel"
This peep, the principal of a small school (menahel in yeshivish), gets the Bar Mitzvah boy's name wrong in his address at the Bar Mitzvah. Multiple times! A good rule of thumb. If you can't remember the Bar Mitzvah boy's name, you really ought to turn down the invitation to speak.
"The Rambler"
This peep begins his speech saying "I won't speak long..." 20 minutes later he's still talking!
"Learn Out Loud Rabbi"
This peep can be found at gigs in private homes. When the musicians start playing background music, before most guests have arrived, this peep begins learning loudly. Natch, he's sitting next to us, and wont consider moving into the study, or anywhere else in the mansion. Don't worry. We're not fooled. We see his foot tapping along on beat!
"The Spiritualist Bandleader"
This bandleader calls to inquire about our availability for a possible great paying out-of-town gig, he had in the works. Upon being told we're available, he gives the following instructions: "K'muvan, go to mikvah and daven Reb Nosson's tefilos for parnossah!" P.S. we booked the gig!
"Pop Music Now"
This peep comes running over at a yeshivish affair to demand a Top 40 tune NOW! Naturally, the prep sheet for this yeshivish affair not only has no secular music requests, but even requests the band avoid playing any line dances or Mizrachit music. Dude, it's just not going to happen unless the bride or groom personally come over to request it...
