Some more peeps for y'all...
"Weed Guy"
This peep, who is not African or African-anything, shows up to an Orthodox wedding with a dashiki over his long hair, a T-shirt, shorts, and Birkenstocks. Observing him over the course of the event, we notice that he keeps making loud puffing exhalations, as though he's taking a bong hit. Then, he comes and stands next to us, and we get a closer look/sniff. Turns out, his lungs are so full of weed, that despite not having toked in hours, he can give himself a contact high just by holding his breath for a few seconds and then exhaling. Pass the Doritos, man!
"Mr. Eat Over The Keyboard"
This peep helps himself to food from the buffet, and then proceeds to stand directly in font of the band, holding his plate over the keyboard as he eats. Considerate. At least he didn't get any Lo Mein on the keys this time.
"Rabbi Rush"
No relation to the conservative talk show host. This peep is in a hurry. No reason why. He just is. So, the wedding starts at 6, he has them do the badekin at 6:10 and starts the chupa at 6:12. Did we mention he's also coordinating the schedule for the dinner which is also taking place in his shul. Did you know you can do an entire Ortho-Chasidic wedding in 2 hours? Rabbi Rush thinks you can.
"Full-Time Clown"
It is common for people to dress up at affairs as a shtick, dancing for a few minutes in a costume of one sort or another. This isn't good enough for the full-time clown, though. This friend of the bride shows up to the ceremony in full clown outfit --suit, wig, funny shoes, and face paint -- and spends the entire affair in character.
"The Composer"
This peep shows up with the score to an original composition they've written in honor of the bride and groom. Said musical masterpiece has been notated in Finale in the worst possibly way. Mathematically it all works out, but visually it's a mess. For example, instead of a dotted quarter note, you might have a dotted eight note tied to three sixteenth notes in a row tied to each other. Imagine an entire page or two of this. Ah, the beauty of HyperScribe aka why trained music copyists are not out of work just yet.
