Pop Goes The Chassid!

When Judaism Becomes A Drug.

From the mailbag...

Joshua writes:

Love your blog. Since you sometimes discuss non-Jewish origins of Jewish songs, could I ask you a question? I recall that one of Avraham Fried's ballads from a semi-recent album was a direct copy of a contemporary (French?) pop song. Do you know what I'm referring to?

I'm not aware of Avraham Fried lifting a French song. Perhaps you're thinking of MBD. He rewrote the English version of "Daddy Dear", which was originally a French song called L'Homme Et L'Enfant

L'Homme Et L'Enfant

Little Child (Daddy Dear)

MBD version

Falling Off The (Band)Wagon

Over at the 5 Towns Jewish Times, Rabbi Yair Hoffman writes An Open Letter to Matisyahu. Meh.

Nice Move, Madonna!

Madonna invites her Israeli warm-up act to open concert in Istanbul.

Playing Gay Weddings

Over at Fink or Swim... A Suggestion for Orthodox Jewish Political Activists Regarding Same Sex Marriage.

Check this:

But in the end, wouldn’t it be better if religious vendors were able to set aside their personal beliefs for the sake of civility and friendship? I mean, there is no prohibition that I am aware of in orthodox Judaism that would prevent a photographer from working a gay wedding. There is no problem for a tailor to hem a gown or cuff some pants for a gay wedding either. So I guess what I am saying is that while I respect religious beliefs very much, I don’t believe that one’s religious beliefs are sufficient cause to discriminate. To be clear, I am not talking about a member of the clergy performing a ceremony that does not even exist in his or her religion. I am referring to vendors who are uncomfortable working a gay ceremony. There is a difference. I don’t think anyone would expect a member of the clergy be required to perform a nonexistent ceremony. But there is no direct parallel to religious vendors.

Oh… Matisyahu…

Rabbi Eliyahu Fink says leave Matisyahu alone!

Israeli Military Secrets Revealed

The Wall Street Journal spills the beans... it's Rita!

Pop Chassid is Heart-Broken

Pop Chassid posts "Matisyahu's Public Transformation: What The World Doesn't Understand About Religious Jews' Reaction."

He don't speak for me.

America's Got Faith!

Heeb: Matisyahu Drops the Act...

....and the Yarmulke!

The Inevitable Asifa Song & Video!

Oh dear!

Talk To The Hand!

It's Jewish Rock Star Puppets!

A New Approach to Shiur

Autotune the shiur and give it a beat.

8th Day "All You Got" Preview

Check this! A preview of 8th Day's forthcoming album.

Changing Orthodoxy

Y-Love says "It Got Better After Coming Out!"

In Review – Milken Archive of American Jewish Music – Great Songs of the Yiddish Stage

Founded by Lowell Milken, the Milken Archive's goal is:

...to record, preserve and disseminate the music that has and will continue to emerge from the unique confluence of Jews reconnecting from across the Diaspora to the freedom of America. Over the three-and-a-half centuries since Jews first arrived on these shores, the sacred and secular body of work that has developed provides a powerful means of expressing the multilayered saga of American Jewry. At the same time, this music reflects a remarkable universality of the immigrant and broader human experience.

This three CD set is a compilation of songs from the legendary American Yiddish theater. The first disc focuses on Abraham Ellstein, the second on Sholom Secunda and Alexander Olshanetsky, and the third on Joseph Rumshinsky. Each disc also includes select songs from other songwriters of their circle,.

The music on all three albums is performed by the Vienna Chamber Orchestra, conducted by Elli Jaffe, with a handful of tracks played by the Barcelona Symphony. The singers on this collection are Robert Abelson, Bruce Adler, Robert Bloch, Joanne Borts, Amy Goldstein, Benzion Miller, Elizabeth Shammash, Nell Snaidas, and Simon Spiro, all of who are excellent here. In the main, these are solo features, but there is the occasional duet as well.

In many cases, there are no extant scores (and perhaps never were) full orchestrations of these tunes. For this project, the Milken Archive hired reconstruction orchestrators to create historically considered orchestrations. The results are quite good. The primary focus here, as with most songs from musicals, is the lyrics, and so the arrangements stay in the background, for the most part, tastefully accompanying the well-chosen vocalists.

The material presented includes a nice cross-section of songs, and a listen to this series gives an excellent overview of Yiddish Theater music.

The songs presented touch on subjects like Jewish guilt in “A Brivele Der Mamen”, and pro-worker/anti-capitalism sentiment in“Fifty-Fifty” and “Dir A Nikl, Mir A Nikl”. There’s love in “Oygn” and “Oy, Mame, Bin Ikh Farlibt”, pathos in “Der Dishvasher”, longing for the shtetl in “Slutsk”, and optimism for life in America in “Lebn Zol Kolumbus”. Naturally, there’s humor in songs like “A Malke Af Peysekh” and “Ikh Bin A “Boarder” Bay Mayn Vayb”. There are even mussar-laden songs like “Watch Your Step” and “Oyb S’iz Geven Gut Far Mayn Mamen”, as well as a liturgical setting of “Hamavdil”

My grandmother’s husband, a longtime Yiddish editor and writer, is fond of reminiscing about the music of the Yiddish theater, which in his day was considered heresy for a young Chasid to listen to. “A mohlige apikorsim” he muses, pointing out how even the largely secular Yiddish theater was able to produce passionate music rich with pride and faith in the Jewish people. He is wont to cite lyrics from “Dos Pintele Yid” which is not included in this collection, but the same holds true for songs like Meyerowitz's "Got Un Zayn Mishpet Iz Gerekht", performed here by Robert Abelson, Rumshinsky’s “Shma Yisro'el” and Secunda's "Dos Yidishe Lid", both performed here by Benzion Miller.

These albums come with incredibly detailed liner notes, which include background information about the songs and the shows the songs came from. Translations of the lyrics are provided as well. The jackets do not provide the original Yiddish lyrics, but those are available for download from The Milken Archive website. It takes a bit of looking around, as each song has its own page, but you can find them on the website. I’d have liked to see one page with all of the Yiddish lyrics, including the text typeset in Yiddish as well as transliteration.

It’s hard to narrow it down, but fave tracks include Bruce Adler’s turn on “Hudl Mitn Strudel” (which features David Krakauer on clarinet), his exuberant rendition of Kanapoff’s “Hu-Tsa-Tsa” with terrific comedic timing, Joanne Borts’s peppy “Watch Your Step”, Simon Spiro’s take on “Vos Iz Geven Iz Geven Un Nito” and Robert Abelson’s somber singing on “Got Un Zayn Mishpot Iz Gerekht” and Benzion Miller’s presentation of “Dos Yidishe Lid”.

Amazon has the discs here:

Volume one:

Volume two:

Volume three:

Up next, a review of clarinetist Aaron Novik's "Secrets of Secrets" release on Tzadik.

Post Asifa Suggestion

I haven't written about the anti-internet asifa held this past Sunday at Citifield. There has been lots of talk about it online. One thing that is clear from both the "pro" and "anti" sides is that one event "raising awareness" about the internet is not enough. More practical steps need to be taken.

In the absence of realistic proposals from the leadership at the asifa, I humbly propose that Jewish musicians step into the breach and help increase awareness by playing the following song at every wedding they play this season. It's the perfect ballroom opener, it works as a chupa song for the little kids to walk down to, and it can fit in a dance set too...

Oh, one thing. Since it is on the internet, it goes without saying that this link is inappropriate. You've been warned!

Aaron Razel: Yeshiva Bochur

Play that funky music, yeshiva boy!

In Honor of Yiddish

The Shira Choir sings a R' Shlomo Kalish composition! Check this clip!

From the mailbag...

Dovid Kerner writes:

Sometime between Naphtali Imber and Neshama, I too lifted the melody of La Mantovana and set it to some words I put together. Here's "Hills of Yerushalayim". Yom Yerushalayim Sameach!

Want 100,00 Hits On YouTube in One Day?

Easy. You just need to be a black (ex)chassidic rapper and come "out of the closet, looking for love."

As Expected

Avraham Fried shares his inspiration (and the source) for the lyrics to the song R’ Kaneivsky was asked about.

So, what did the people who shlepped Rav Kanievsky into this achieve?

Heeb: Oy Vey, Y-Love is Gay

Mandatory Heeb coverage.

More On Frum Songs....

E. comments on More Music Questions for Rav Kanievsky...

I don't know about Rav Kanievsky, but we did have a few rabbeim in high school who got very angry and agitated when they heard a few boys singing "Avrohom and Yitzchak will be there to greet us, Yaakov and his sons will stand by and smile...." "REALLY? WHO SAID??!?! WHO SAID?! Some singer? Some entertainer? Some fat oizvarf with a microphone?"

But what I really wanna know is, how can Mama Rochel cry for us again when the day will come that she raises her sweet voice, if she was truly laid to rest on the roadside forever?

Oh and on that note, something which has bothered be for decades: "Never will i be alone, with his help i can stand on my own." Make up your friggin' mind, buddy.

I'm glad Rav Kanievksy clarified that tears thing. I always wondered how the bricks would function descending in fire if they were wet.

I can safely say that there is no 'frum' pop lyric that has bothered me for decades.

More On Frum Songs....

E. comments on More Music Questions for Rav Kanievsky...

I don't know about Rav Kanievsky, but we did have a few rabbeim in high school who got very angry and agitated when they heard a few boys singing "Avrohom and Yitzchak will be there to greet us, Yaakov and his sons will stand by and smile...." "REALLY? WHO SAID??!?! WHO SAID?! Some singer? Some entertainer? Some fat oizvarf with a microphone?"

But what I really wanna know is, how can Mama Rochel cry for us again when the day will come that she raises her sweet voice, if she was truly laid to rest on the roadside forever?

Oh and on that note, something which has bothered be for decades: "Never will i be alone, with his help i can stand on my own." Make up your friggin' mind, buddy.

I'm glad Rav Kanievksy clarified that tears thing. I always wondered how the bricks would function descending in fire if they were wet.

I can safely say that there is no 'frum' pop lyric that has bothered me for decades.

Y-Love Comes Out

Out magazine reports that "Y-Love is Ready for Love."   Guest starring Yoeli Weishauss. I hope he got paid enough to go visit his grandmother a few times.

More Music Questions for Rav Kanievsky

Psachya writes:

Now that we have received an unambiguous psak from R' Chaim Kanievsky shlita that the third Beis Hamikdash will not be built with tears - Avrohom Fried's lyrics to the contrary - I have a few more pressing shailos that I hope R' Kanievsky will address. Perhaps some of his askanim, who are so careful not to waste a gadol's precious time, would be kind enough to run them by him:

- Will we really be free if we have just one Shabbos?

- Are we only supposed to not talk and just daven for our tefilos to reach Hashem, or are we also supposed to go "sh, sh"? In rhythm?

- Do we really have to throw away our hammer every erev Shabbos? Particularly in this economy? (Maybe we should make a takana about that...)

- Are you even allowed to have a minyan in the back of a hardware store?

- Should we really teach our children to treat their fellow friends like they were you? What if you're not a very nice person?

- Why would an eagle want to get into a fight with a bunch of vultures anyway?

- What is the punishment for saying "She-T'hei La-Mazal" to an Ashkenazi?

- Can we finally start selling Jerusalem once the Mormons all go back to Utah? And finally, the most important question of all -

- Did the flame of Torah really flicker on the day that the soldiers rushed in to the dark frigid cellar and led away the small group of men? And why are we required to sing the chorus of that song at every single Jewish wedding?

I await R' Kanievsky's psak regarding these pressing issues. The fate of Klal Yisroel hangs in the balance.

A Nigun With Class!

Learn the Pilpul Nigun.

BRING BACK LIPA!

Dovid Teitlebaum has a message for the anti-internet asifa organizers -- "My final plea to the organizers of the Asifa at Citi Field: BRING BACK LIPA!"

Chinuch Roundtable: Sefirah Edition

Oh dear! Frum Satire spoofs the Chinuch Roundtable in "I can’t live through sefira without music."

New Haredi Sport

Running to Gedolim for their take on frum pop lyrics.

Lag B'omer Music

DovBear on Lag B'omer Music.

Lipa Faith Promo

Kars for What?

Over at Hamavdil, Chaim Bray takes on Oorah in עורה-עורה שפלותי and "Stuff One No-Account Blogger Says About Oorah." Indeed.

Y-Studa Acapella

Received a couple of emails from various Y-studs asking me to post their video... Here it is... I don't get it. I mean I do... but I don't... know what I mean?

Neshoma Courts Controversy

Neshama Carlebach releases a new version of Hatikva  to be more inclusive to Israeli Arabs.  She also posted a non-statement to her Facebook page:

Friends, I know many of you have been waiting for me to make a personal statement about situation around this version of Hatikva. I haven't yet responded deeply and publicly about my own pro-Israel beliefs and have so wanted to. The wait has only been due to my large (and incredible) Team (everyone is involved and helping to create it) and my new Publicity Team needing to approve all that is released. Thank you for your patience, I hope to post my video statement over the next day. I love you all, thank you for being there and for believing in me and in my quest for goodness.

Hakol Kol Yaakova!

Over in South Africa... Women refuse singing ban!

Via Hirhurim.

Lag BaOmer is coming!

The Klezmer Shack posts a Tribute to Meron klezmer Avrum Segal, z"l.

"Histalkus Metal" in Crown Heights

At FM: Ex-Hasid Death Metal Band Flourishes – In Crown Heights

I Wanna Be A Polar Bear (With A Bomb)

This just might be the weirdest version of Abanibi I've ever seen.

Ki Lo Noa!

Achinoam Nini under fire for comments on Israel.

From the mailbag....

Psachya writes:

I enjoyed the video you posted on Joey Weisenberg's "table-top rhythms" for Shabbos singing. The guy is obviously a wonderful musician. At the same time, the video got me thinking: When does a tabletop cease being a tabletop and become a musical instrument - halachically speaking? And what's the difference between playing intricate rhythms on a shtender or on, say, a djembe?

Now I know the answer people will give me for my second question - because a djembe is specifically made as a musical instrument, whereas a table-top is more of a "found object". (I believe Mr. Weisenberg even used that term in the video.) However, I think the idea of something being a "found object" does not necessarily preclude it from being a musical instrument. Lots of fine music has been performed on, and composed for, found objects. Just ask Harry Partch. Or the cast of "Stomp".

Some might say that, to be a musical instrument, it needs to have the ability to be tuned. Two problems. One - there are plenty of indisputably musical instruments - a tamborine, say, or cymbals - that are not particularly tunable. On the other hand, as we saw in the video, it's possible to alter the sound of a shtender by putting pieces of paper on it, or putting things inside. How is that not tuning?

Another possible answer is that it has to be specifically set aside (muktzah) for the purpose of making music. Again, it seems to me that by sound-testing the "found objects" in advance (as he did in the video), perhaps Mr. Weisenberg is, essentially, "preparing" his found objects, thus making them "mezuman" to be musical instruments on Shabbos.

Again, I enjoyed the video - it was quite entertaining, and I hope I'm wrong in my speculations. But we're talking potential chilul Shabbos here, and we have to be careful. And as a habitual zemiros table-tapper myself, I may find myself sitting on my hands this Friday night.

Just some food for thought.

Introduction to Tabletop Rhythms for Jewish Singing

Awesome!

More Shabbos Music

Just because... Yedid Nefesh with the original text.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

IDF Rejects Request For Earplugs When Women Sing

Funny, That's Not How Chassidim Do It!

Over at On the Main Line: A description of the 'Mitzvah Tanz' circa 1600.

Credit Where Credit's Due

It's neat how Cole Porter deftly quotes Miami Boys Choir's "To Live A Life of Torah" in "My Heart Belongs to Daddy"from "Leave It To Me." [/sarcasm] No, I don't think Begun ripped it. It's just one of those coincidences like "Blue Bossa" and the A section of Avraham Fried's "Livinyomin Omar."

Melave Malka Links

Mickey Katz and Pete Sokolow! The Mickey Katz Project: A few minutes with Peter Sokolow

Leonard Cohen in court... "Ardour in the court: Screw with Leonard Cohen and he’ll smother you in prose."

Oh, Lipa!

So the first song preview of Lipa's forthcoming album is out... I imagine this tune will be popular on the Brooklyn simcha circuit, and so I'll wind up having to learn it and play it. Lipa is so frustrating... so much talent... and then he produces this drek... but it'll sell... I love his approach, his creativity, his energy, the depth of some of his Yiddish lyrics... but this stuff... it just leaves me cold.

Kiss My Klezmer!

Here's a Klezmer suite in tribute to Chaim Witz... Chaim: The Music-Maker - The Rise of Gene Simmons The clarinet soloist is David Krakauer.

Drake: Good for the Jews?

Ronn Torossian says yes. Check out the comment by A. E. Anderson for an opposing take.

The Low Down

Over at Speaker's Lab: an interview with bassist Benjy Fox-Rosen.

The Matzos Are Done!

Bruce Springstein: Greatest Bar Mitzvah Bandleader of All Time

According to Max Weinberg... the whole interview is at The Arty Semite.

And yes, I know how he spells his name.

Rewriting 'Hatikvah'

Over at the Forward, Philologos wants to rewrite 'Hatikvah'. The commentors don't agree.

Pesach is coming!

Over at On the Main Line: "What Passover sounded like 370 years ago - sung today."

More from the "Shabbat Songs Project"

Here is Lecha Dodi!

Downloading Accurate Sheet Music

I was asked to sing a wedding song by a fairly well-known chassidic singer at an upcoming wedding. The tune is not one that is typically played at weddings. I downloaded the chart from the artist's website and, surprise (not really) the chart is wrong. Is it unreasonable to expect that an artist make sure the sheet music on his site is accurate?

#NoseJobGate

Over at Teruah:  #NoseJobGate - The Groggers and Plastic Surgery Disasters

Shirei Shabbos Project!

Yeah!

In Time For St. Pattys....

Darth Vader Playing the Bagpipes While Riding a Unicycle

The Groggers Make Some Nose!

ABC News reports: "Miami Plastic Surgeon Under Investigation After Commissioning 'Jewcan Sam' Music Video to Encourage Nose Jobs"

3/13/12 Link Dump - Tasteless edition

I warned you... The Making of TRIGGER's "FART EXPANSION" Pack - YouTube


Jello Biafra on Al Jazeera: Caught in the crossfire: Should musicians boycott Israel?


One has to wonder if anyone reads JM PR before publishing it. The most recent example here: New CD: Pesach in Yerushalayim with Chilik Frank

Over at the Arty Semite, it's Monday Music: Rap for Rabbis

Finally, E. emails a link to yet another story about non-profit JM producers Oorah: Children's Charity Loses Millions on Real Estate  What a chilul Hashem!

Purim Headlines 2012

Once again, it's time for some Purim news headlines you're not likely to see anywhere else this year.

The Groggers Hired To Perform At The Siyum HaShas

MBD Retires

Avraham Fried To Release Collection Of American Standards

Airmont Shul To Open Franchises Worldwide

Frum Dub-Step Artist Tops Electronica Charts

Rabbi Nosson Slifkin Appointed To Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah

Frum Child Molestor Reported To Police By Rabbi

Frum Song With Intelligent Non-Cheesy English Lyrics A Pop Sensation In Brooklyn

Maccabeats Tapped To Sing Backup On New Eminem Album

NYC HASC/Ohel Concerts Announced: Lineup Will Not Include Lipa, Shwekey, Avraham Fried, or Eighth Day

New Deborah Feldman Book "ReOrthodox" On NY Times Best-Seller List.

Rabbi Avremel Schorr Launches Chain Of Internet Cafés

Most Talented Contestant Wins "A Jewish Star" Competition

New Wedding Takanos Limit Chupa Processions To Choson and Kalla Only

Mormons Posthumously Convert Golem of Prague - Jewish Community Outraged

Breitbart.com Launches Three New Websites: Big Lakewood, Big Satmar, and Big Skver

Novominsker Rebbe Joins Facebook

Shmuley Boteach Apologizes; Withdraws "Kosher Jesus" Book

Lakewood Rabbis Ban Chavrusah Tumult; Urge Bochurim To "Just Grow Up Already"

Jewish Week Wins Communal Praise For Exposé On MO Abusive Rabbi

Rabbis Ban Boys Choirs On Tznius Grounds - Sounds Too Much Like Kol Isha

A Better Approach To Fighting Unauthorized Copying

TLJNNews. com reports on Yoely Liebowitz's latest effort in "Chasidic Comedian, Looking to Shed New Light in the World of Music and Entertainment CD’s."

Some Purim Music for Y'all

Courtesy of Bnai Jeshurun. Get in the zone! Purim is coming!

NAMM Oddities 2012

Barry Wood's NAMM Oddities 2012 is up! Love this stuff!

Bobover Wedding Videos

Over at the Forward Sisterhood blog... "Serenading the Bobov Bride."

A Nice Chassidish Wedding Clip

Oh my!

YouTube Copyright Issues

Here's an interesting piece at Consumerist... "Is YouTube's Content ID System Leading To False Copyright Claims?"

Not A Gibson Update!

It's been months... still no charges and no resolution.

Rapping about Seinfeld!

...over at My Jewish Learning.

Marc Shapiro on Kol Isha

Marc Shapiro on Artscroll misrepresentations and Kol Isha...

Here's a taste:

Eccl. 2:8 states: .עשיתי לי שרים ושרות

What does this mean? The simple explanation is that the author, traditionally Solomon, is telling us about all the wonderful things he amassed with which to enjoy himself, and among them are “men singers and women singers.” Artscroll translates the passage as “I provided myself with various musical instruments.” Now this might be an apologetic translation, but if so, it is not Artscroll that is to be too criticized, but the Talmud, Gittin 68a, since according to Rashi this is how the Talmud explains the words.[11] Artscroll is obviously within its rights to adopt this understanding, even if one assumes that this explanation is not in accord with the simple sense of the verse.

The problem comes with the next passage in the Artscroll commentary which states: “Rav Yosef Kara, Alshich, Metzudas Zion and others translate ‘singers.’” I will get to Kara and Alshich shortly, but let’s begin with Metzudat Tziyon, since this is easiest for most people to access as it appears in the Mikraot Gedolot. He writes as follows:

שרים: משוררים זכרים. ושרות: משוררות נקבות

So now I ask my fair-minded readers: Is Artscroll’s statement that Metzudat Tziyon translates שרים ושרות as “singers” accurate? I think the answer is clearly “no”. Metzudat Tziyon translates the words in question as “male singers and female singers,” and yet—don’t tell me you are surprised—in Artscroll this morphs into “singers”. Why would Artscroll fudge the translation? The answer is obvious. They don’t want people to think that Solomon would have listened to women singing.

Read the whole thing! Fascinating stuff.

Diaspora Yeshiva Band video sale

Today's J-Deal is the "Diaspora Live on Mt. Zion" video plus Avraham Rosenblum's last album, "Kedem."

Avraham's son Mo sent me the video a while back, and it's been on my review pile for a while. The video documents the Diaspora Yeshiva Band at its peak. Well worth it for historical value, especially if you're interested in Jewish roots music with a folk/rock esthetic.

A Valentines Day Video from The Groggers

Oh dear!

Today's links

At Hirhurim:"Singing Soldiers."

At Gretsch Drums:Jazz vs Metal.

I Don't Mind Posting This Video

Kohane of Newark emails a link to their new video...

Did Miriam Sing?

Hirhurim presents some approaches.

Bad PR

If the PR about the production costs on this is true... this is is a huge waste of money.

Yiddish Disco

Teruah is back with a great post on the Jewrhyhtmics.

Watch this! (Klezmer clarinet content)

You need to see/hear this! Superb!

Amazing Grace Notes

Here's a Tablet podcast on Andy Statman's collaboration with Evangelical country star Ricky Skaggs.

1/25/12 Link Dump

Mastering explained in 44 Seconds.

I've written a bit about Oorah in the past. Well, there's not good news and more not good news. Raises some more questions about their CD "releases".

Finally, here's a helpful guide to rock drumming.

Time for More Peeps

"The Yekke"

Just got off the phone with a yekke (German-Jewish) client who hired me for an upcoming event. He booked me for three hours from precisely 6:20 to 9:20. I told him I don't mind giving an extra few minutes until the party ends at 9:30, but he insisted that a three hour booking mean exactly three hours.

"The Foodie Waiter"
Offers us soup. Comes back 10 minutes later with another bowl to say "I gave you the wrong one. Try the squash soup, it's much better!"

"The Fat Couple"

These overweight peeps stroll past the bandstand on the way out. The caterer has helpfully placed a shelf unit full of deserts right next to the band. As they pass it, and keep going, the wife looks longingly back at the display. "You don't need that!" says the husband. They continue on towards the door, until, in one swift maneuver, the wife does a 180, heads straight for the shelves and grabs an eclair. Whereupon, the husband looks at us, shrugs, heads over to the shelves, and downs an eclair whole. Sated (for the moment) the two exit stage left.

"The Color Commentator"

This guest stakes out a place against the wall near the band. Casually leaning, he provides color commentary to an imaginary audience, about all of the guests entering the room. Sample quote: "Hehey! Captain Homo is here! Oy!

"The Roach Observer"

This peep handles janitorial services. When the bandleader arrives to set up and notices a dead roach in the middle of the band's space, he points it out to this guy. "Yeah!" The peep laconically responds. "He's still moving a bit. I been watching him all afternoon!" Naturally, it doesn't occur to him to remove said roach until specifically asked to do so. For fun, here's a pic of said hypothetical roach.

"The Cheapskate"

This peep will come up to the band at an affair and inquire about a date in the immediate future, say within the week or so. The sole concern is price, and their budget is not realistic. Sample inquiry/offer: "I'm running a singles event next Sun. I'm expecting 100 or so people. Can you come play for the first half hour of socializing and then the last hour of desert. I don't need you to play for two and a half hours in between. I can offer $100 and you'll get exposure."

"Bathroom Phone Call Dude"
A word to the wise. If you're a waiter skipping out on the gig for a few minutes to make a romantic call to your girlfriend, a center stall in the bathroom is not the place to go. Even if you're not actively using the bathroom, the folks on either side of you sure will be. The constant bathroom noises -- urinals flushing etc. -- will not be conducive for romantic talk. Not to mention the fellow who just had too many tacos at the buffet, and who is now in the next stall...

"The Hapless Sound Tech"
We're setting up to play at a dinner, and there's a sound tech next to us setting up a wireless mic/speaker for speeches. "I can't get it working", he complains loudly. "It was working fine yesterday." After a couple of complaints, we take a look. He's got the wireless mic switched on, the portable powered speaker switched on, but no receiver and he had nothing connected to the speaker inputs. Um, think that might be the problem right there?

"The Demanding Client"
We need music now! We know you just played for over an hour straight and there's a long dance set coming up right after this short video presentation. But, our audio isn't working, so we need you to put down your dinner plate and come play background music for the video. No break for you! Oh, and we'll hit you at the end of the gig with the "Check Bearer"

"The Check Bearer"
This peep works for the organization hosting the event. He is not the contact person you've dealt with before/at the event. His sole job is to bring the check to the gig, and hold it all night (in case you don't play appropriate background music?). This peep inevitably leaves before the event is over, without handing over the check. It will take at least a week before you receive said check in the mail.

"Get On With It"
This peep, a parent guesting at the end-of-year senior dinner will not put up with the school administrator's bloviating. When said adminstrator, after a long and meaningless intro, announces that he will not proceed until there is absolute silence in the room (some students were whispering), this peep shouts out: "Get On With It!" It took the flustered admin 20 minutes to recover, and things moved quicker after that.

"Mrs. Dropped Skirt"
Ladies, a word to the wise. If you've lost weight or have an issue with the clasp on your skirt, you might not want to wear it for dancing at a wedding! Just saying!

"Can't We All Just Get Along?"
Played a wedding where there were four separated seating sections, each walled off by mechitzos. One for men, one for women, and two for mixed seating, separated by side, since there was a divorce in the family and apparently his & her relatives/family members could not be seated in view of each other. So sad.

"The Trailer Park Chupa"
Played a backyard chupa, where the host decided it would be a good idea to decorate the yard in trailer park style. Seriously. They brought in a Port-a-Potty, which was so not needed. Then, they "decorated" the potty by hanging old flowered bedsheets from clotheslines around it. The day-long rain didn't help, things. Neither, did the yellow and blue striped tent they had installed for the chupa. Or the handmade "exit" signs they felt compelled to add to the white tent the cocktails were in...

Post-Shabbes Nign

Check this!

A sneak peek at Michael Winograd's new klez album. Yes!

New Band Slogan....

....for one of the cheapie frummie bands that have been popping up lately... "Putting the 'Disco' in discount!"

From the mailbag...

Mordechai writes:

Thought you'd appreciate this:

Josef Skvorecky on the Nazis; Control-Freak Hatred of Jazz.

Forbade "Jewishly gloomy lyrics" and "mutes which turn the noble sound of wind and brass instruments into a Jewish-Freemasonic yowl"

The language is so similar to some Jewish bans (I have The Torah is Not Hefker in mind) that it's outright disturbing.

Indeed.

E writes: Heard the one about the "Jesuit football cantor?"

Your Music On Your Car Radio

Via Instapundit, here's a nice review of an FM transmitter that'll let you listen to your music on the car radio. Looks like a great tool for musicians. I often listen to new music for upcoming gigs, reviews, etc. in the car. This will avoid the time/expense of burning a CDR for the car. You can play tracks off of USB stick, SD card, or straight off of your iPod/iPhone etc. This one gets excellent reviews and it's cheap! Amazon has it here:

Name that Band!

Some neat band names we've come across recently.

Jews and Catholics. They could've just named the band "Guilt!"

Hasidic women's indie rock thang: Bulletproof Stockings.

If Simon and Garfunkel were young Chabadskers... Freedom Season.

What's Klezmer Spelled Backwards?

Over at the Arty Semite... "Talking With Ramzailech."

Shlock Rock Does Lady Gaga!

On Interpreting Lubavitch Nigunim

Herschel Tzig: Music Critic.

Eis L'daber v'eis...

MBD: Professor of Satmar theology!

And So It Begins... (another ban)

Craigslist Shakla V'Tarya

...at Jazz Mechanica.

Booking A Ban

Here's an interesting one... Check this post at FM out! Mishpacha Mag Ban A "Forgery," Part Of "Ongoing Business War" With Yated Ne'eman, Mishpacha Magazine Honchos Say.

I've been following the ban trend on this blog for quite a bit, and here's an interesting attempt by Mishpacha to counter a ban. Very Alinsky.

The same logic would apply to the Lipa ban, the ban on Rabbi Slifkin's books, etc.

Of course, since we're not dealing with logic... In any event, the fact that Mishpacha's people will make this argument publicly is quite relevant. Attitudes in the community have been shifting and the end result is a decrease in Kavod Hatorah (a bad thing), as well as a reduction in the effective authority of the gatekeepers and those rabbis who rule on matters they don't understand (a very good thing).

Incidentally, there's still time for you to win an exclusive T-shirt with my commentary on bans here.

Here's the shirt:

Adrienne Cooper's Musical Life

Here's Jon Kalish's Forward podcast on Sunday's memorial service for Adrienne Cooper Z"L.

Remembering Adrienne Cooper Z"L

WNYC - "Beloved Yiddish Singer Adrienne Cooper Mourned by Colleagues."

NY Times - "Adrienne Cooper, Expert on Yiddish Music, Is Dead." Money quote from her daughter, Sarah:

“She was interested in people expressing their Judaism through their language and their culture,” Ms. Gordon said. “She taught people how to do that.”

Indeed.

Forward - "Adrienne Cooper Embodied Progressive Spirit."

The Jewish Week "Adrienne Cooper, Mother Of Yiddish Revival Movement."

From the mailbag...

Jordan Penkower writes:

I recently found the following on your archive (March 27, 2008)

Shalom writes:

...

On another topic, and you can edit this for length if you want: I was recently listening to the first Mark 3 album, "The New Jewish Sound", with an ear toward dubbing it to CD so I can listen in the car. [1] This was one of my favourite albums back when I was a kid, playing it on my parents' Voice of Music stereo hi-fi set (ceramic cartridge, three tubes). Even on modern equipment it sounds perhaps a bit primitive by today's standards, but remember this was cut 42 years ago, and it was literally the first of its type: modern JM, as we know it, started here. [2]

I was wondering, though, who exactly played on this record. The only musicians credited are Sy Kushner (accordion), who is or was until recently still in the business; Jordan Penkower (alto), now a professor in Israel; and Benjamin Hulkower (drums), who's now a well-known psychologist in California. There are, however, five other instruments audible on the record: trombone, clarinet, trumpet (or other horn in that approximate range), bass, and electric guitar. None of these are credited. (There is a note that says "Special thanks to Mike Chernick and Jackie Gross", but no indication of what they did, or even if they were musicians in the first place.) I'd guess that there weren't any overdubs, given that all eleven tracks were cut in one day (6/13/66), so they were probably all separate musicians.

Do you, or any of your readers, have any idea of who these sidemen were?

footnotes: [1] Not successful. Of the three copies I was able to lay my hands on, only one was stereo, and all three were worn to some extent. I do have noise reduction software, but it made things worse, given that a trombone's waveform looks like noise to a noise-filter plugin. It would be nice to see this remastered, if anyone can find the master.

[2] Yah, there were folk-type albums like Shlomo Carlebach's first two, chassidish stuff like Nichoach (and the first two Pirchei albums, which were in the same style and probably had the same personnel, if I'm not mistaken), Modzitz, maybe Chazan Dovid Werdyger's Gerer stuff, and maybe a couple of Rudy Tepel wedding albums, but the pop-style, wedding-band-style albums that are so ubiquitous today weren't around yet, at least I'm not familiar with any older ones that have survived. Even the Rabbis' Sons were still a year away from making their first LP, and Neginah's first release wasn't until '71.

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I can now answer the above question (and request). In 2009 the original Mark 3 LP (after being re-mastered digitally) was released as a CD, with the original front cover. the back cover was also reproduced - but in a lighter gray, and superimposed on that was a text, AND ALSO A LISTING OF THE ORIGINAL MUSICIANS.

In addition to Ben Hulkower (drums), Sy Kushner (accordian), and Jordan Penkower (alto saxophone), the musicians were: Chizik Epstein (clarinet), Harvey Goldin (tenor sax, clarinet - solo on Mizmor L'Dovid, flute - solo on Dabeir Eilai Bifrachim, piccolo - solo on Omdos), Rick Heckendorn (Bass), Jack Leone (guitar), Hy Simon (trombone).

The singers were: Mike Chernik, Jackie Gross, Monty Penkower.

This CD is available at Nulite Music, Inc. - The New Jewish Sound- The Mark 3 Orchestra and Singers (CD)

In addition, i take this opportunity to inform you that just recently in 2011, the two LPs by Jordan Penkower and The Sterling Sound: (1) The Return to Jerusalem; (2) Jubilation, were remastered digitally, and released as CDs, together with the original front and back covers.

These CDS are available at:

Jordan Penkower And The Sterling Sound | Jubilation | CD Baby

Jordan Penkower and The Sterling Sound | The Return to Jerusalem | CD Baby