"The Queer Mashgiach"
We've met this guy a bunch at gigs and mentioned him before.
This convo was too good to pass up...
QM: "I see you know all the pretty Jewish songs. Do you know standards too? Starts singing "Summertime".
DM: [starts comping]
We can't make this stuff up!
This peep won't just do the slow song he's been asked to sing, because "I'm not just the slow song guy". So, after plowing through a slow song, he sings a medley of the choruses of Balbeli Oto and Yalili, switching back and forth between the two as though they were the A and B of one song.
"The Sheet Music Helper"
This peep comes over during the dance set, and decides to helpfully pick up the discarded piece of sheet music on the bandstand floor and hand it to us. (It was the fanfare, which we've already played.) Never mind the fact that we're reading another chart, and have not indicated in any way that we want to be handed this music. When we say that we do not need it and that it's ok for him to just leave it on the floor, he simply can't accept this, continuing to attempt to get our attention, and show us where he's putting it down on a chair near the bandstand.
"The Attendance Monitor"
This peep monitors the bandstand, noting and commenting if any musician is not on the bandstand while the band is playing. This self-appointed peep wants to know "where the 2nd guitar player went", for instance. (Actual question). We're tempted to tell him exactly which stall in the bathroom he's in.
This peep is special. They meet with you before the event, discuss repertoire, requests, etc. and all is cool. Then, at the event, they change everything on you. When the "mind-changer" is the mother (in-law) and these last minute changes conflict with the bride's plans, look for some sparks to fly.