"The Gaggle"
"The Gaggle" are a group of women jointly hosting a Sheva Brachos. They show up about five minutes before the invite time, look at the perfectly set room, and proceed to make minor, mostly irrelevant adjustments, all the while discussing said adjustments loudly among themselves. "Do you think the flowers look good like this? Or, should I move this lily one millimeter to the left." From an aesthetic standpoint, these efforts are pointless. Nevertheless, they always feel compelled to make some changes.
"Super Nice Lady"
We've run into this peep quite often recently. She always makes a point of coming over and saying really nice things about the music.
"Heil Hitler Guy"
A friend of the 'rents, this peep always acknowledges our presence with a drive-by Nazi salute of sorts as he walks past. He never says hi or stop to chat.
The "Mavin Dovor"
Walks into a Sheva Berachos hosted by several kollel families and immediately understands, based on the amenities, that they must be really stretching to pay for the affair. So, as a fellow who also "learns in the kollel," he discreetly tells one of the hostesses that he too ought to have been included in contributing towards the event. He proceeds to pick up a nice part of the tab. He doesn't know that he's been "caught doing good!"
The "$5000 Rabbi"
This Rabbi is an hour late to the wedding he's officiating at. This despite the fact that the family had sent a car to pick him up on time. He'd simply kept the driver waiting. The father of the bride is later heard estimating his cost for the additional hour at $5000 in overtime fees. We met a similar peep earlier, but he'd cost his baalei simcha thousands more. The difference between a heimishe venue and the Waldorf.
The "Bathroom Smoker"
This peep smokes in a stall in the men's room at Ateres Chynka, a basement wedding hall. Apparently multiple times throughout the night. The lack of ventilation in the bathroom means that all of the guests have to experience the unpleasant heavy smoke. At least he doesn't have to chill himself outdoors, and that's what's most important, right?
The "Grooveless Badchan"
This peep takes an hour to warm up. Seriously, the first hour of this two hour mitzvah tants is simply excruciating. But, after hitting the bar for a drink or two after each tants, he finds his groove, and he brings his "A game" for the rest of the tants.
Should've started hitting the bar an hour or so earlier.
