Some more for y'all...
They're out in force these days!
The "Time Waster"
The "Time Waster" gives the musicians an earlier start time if they book a very short event that is booked at the minimum rate for the slot. Their logic is that since the musician is being compensated, might as well have them come early. This is fair, within reason, but it's frequently abused. It also unfairly penalizes those musicians who actually do come early as a matter of course. The most recent specimen of this fine peep gave us an 8 PM start time, but gave the guests an 8:30 invite time. There's no reason to have the musicians set up and ready to go an hour before the gig. Folks, if you're worried about the musician being on time, how about expressing your concerns to them directly?
The "Most Amazing Mentalist Ever!!!"
This fine entertainer has a pre-printed introduction that MUST be read before he starts his show. Among the salient facts he deems necessary for elementary school kids to know; he's played Caesar's Palace in Atlantic City and shares a first AND last name with a character that appeared in one episode of season two of "The Soprano's". I guess when your resume is that dry after 30 years in the field (allegedly), you've got to scrape the bottom of the barrel for intro factoids.
The "Gay Mashgiach"
The "Don't Go Anywhere" Client
What with being used to hearing "Don't Go Anywhere" in grade school as a prelude to being reported for a disciplinary infraction of one sort or another, this client is a pleasant change of pace. When we hear "Don't Go Anywhere" at the end of a job that has been invoiced/paid in full by the office, we know a nice tip is on the way. Our informal research indicates that "Don't go anywhere" means at least $50, but it's frequently more. Thank you! We appreciate it!