I've always been fascinated by the lyrics to the English language songs on Jewish music albums. They usually contain cheesy cliches, silly analogies, and are often meant to be tearjerkers, although they more often induce laughter. They contain words like "strive" and "yearn", and consist of elementary-school level statements of faith end belief. And, although there are exceptions, they are rare.
My nomination for the worst English Jewish music song ever is the song "The Shabbos Candles" from the Miami Boys Choir album "Stand Up" (not to be confused with "Shteyt Oyf "by the Klezmatics.) Released in 1999, the song was basically outdated by the time the album was in stores.
The best verse:
"They call it Y2K - the experts say
We'll all be confined to a room
Will the world stand still? They said it will
Bringing sadness, heartache, and doom
We'll still have the light of the Shabbos candles."
Runners up include "The Voice of a New Generation" from Yisroel Williger's debut album, and more recently, "Watch Over Me" from Lev Tahor 2.
Coming soon: The first ever "fisking" of a Jewish music song. Feel free to suggest a song!